dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
