why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
