hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
