If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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