Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
