She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
