Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
