redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
