I need help removing her.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
