And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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