so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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