hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I would ride that face into the sunset
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
