Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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