she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
