If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
