This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
whose parrot is this?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
