The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
