I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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