Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she woke up with a sticky ear
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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