She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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