My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
