I think my vagina is haunted
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish you could order shots online.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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