I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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