This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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