i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
