Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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