so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
