My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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