how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
