Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
