New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
