non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
