im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
