she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I die, sorry about rent.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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