well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
