we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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