In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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