There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
