I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
