If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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