That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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