hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
