Tell her she can't have a vagina
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
