If that was your dad, he is hot
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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