That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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