Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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