He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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