i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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