I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
