out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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