She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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