i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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