i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
