who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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