Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
