Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
