so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
