whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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