What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
