You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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