I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
