I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
