I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
