Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
