this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The power of my boobs compel you
I have already put on my inside pants.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
