What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize