does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
