Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
