Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to have your abortion
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
