Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
