Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
