I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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