my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
