escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize